Thursday, 21 December 2017

The Perro: a different kind of dog for OSR games

Did your player characters discovered the benefits to have dogs when adventuring?
Are they throwing those poor innocent souls into traps, into hopeless battles, or are they using them as walking emergency food supplies?
Not anymore, if they get a Perro!

This is a Perro. My Perro, actually.

Based on my actual dog, a Perro is pretty useless when it comes to adventure. He is lazy, dumb, clumsy, short-sighted, has a terrible sense of smell, loves food and cuddles and it's short from being terrified by his own shadow.
The problem is, you'll love him.
He will look at you with those oh so cute eyes that you'll not be able to abandon him, kill him for food or throw him in flames in a room full of goblins and close the door behind him.

Because a Perro's speciality is to make people pity him. When you look at his face he will make you feel sorry for his (unexistent) suffering. He will make you think his life is full of pain and sadness.
He will make people literally ask if you beat the poor Perro*.
And then he will make people give him food and cuddles. And the Perro will gladly eat and be cuddled. And then sleep.

*actually happened to me.

A Perro adventuring in the wilderness

Perro

Armor Class: 16 (as chain)
Hit Dice: 1
Movement: 240' (see description)
Morale: 2
No attacks

Every time you buy a dog, on a roll of 1 on 12 you will get a Perro.

A Perro eats double rations every day, and since he does nothing but laying and sleeping wherever he can, he will quickly get fat and chubby and he will slow down by 20' every week down to 40'.

He wants all your food

With a so low morale, a Perro will never fight: he will either run away or hide under a table, behind a rock or behind his owner.
A Perro is always wary of people other than his owner (unless they have food to offer) and will flee other dogs unless he gets to know them very well. He completely ignores cats or other similar animals.
He will, however, bark at other unknown creatures (especially dog-like) or noises if at safe distance. It will be a single, acute "Bau!" that will immediately call for a random encounter roll (or will spoil the surprise element).

Heights and holes are a Perro's bane: he fears the first and will fall into the second.
Every time there's a height to face, a Perro will keep the most possible distance from it, refusing to continue. He is also not able to climb anything much worse than steep stairs.
In the the presence of a hole, though, the Perro will have to Save versus Paralysis or fall into it.
A Perro is also very clumsy. He will roll at -4 in every save concerning movement (like when falling into holes). He also hates to be held in someone's arms or grabbed and will try to free himself.
Poor Perro.

A Perro after 4 weeks of double rations

A Perro really loves his owner. He will be always loyal to him and will greet him in the most excitedly possible way (even by peeing himself). He loves his owner so much he will be desperate to be left bound somewhere and will start to bark incessantly to recall his owner's attention.

Retainers

A Perro is so lovely that will boost the morale of any Retainer employed by the player characters.
Also, if a Perro is present in the party when hiring, any Retainer will be more inclined to accept the offered position.
When checking morale or determining if a Retainer position is accepted, roll 3d6 and drop the lowest result. This rule does not apply when determining the initial morale of Retainers.

Cause Pity

This is a special ability that works as a passive Charm Person spell.
It will automatically work (Save vs Magic is allowed) for any humanoid who looks at the Perro (except Elves as they are creepy and cold as fuck and do not care for lesser beings) and will be used for three main purposes: to get food, to get cuddles and to be protected from any possible harm or threat.
This  special ability requires no spoken word or command as it will work with the Perro's oh so cute eyes.
Cause Pity is the reason no one is able to get rid of a Perro.
How could you be so cruel with him after all? He loves you so much!

You cannot resist the power of the Perro's oh so cute eyes.

Suggested Perro names
These were actual possible names for my dog
1Penelope
2Morrongo Cotongo
3Luke
4Chewbacca
5Infarto
6Pestilenza

Some Perros are also oh so sexy

1 comment:

  1. Genius!

    I think it's more 1 in 4 the probability to get a perro!

    ReplyDelete