Friday, 2 February 2018

Help! My Dog Ate Strange Fungi!

What happens if a dog eats too many infected fungi -or if in the case of The Tomb of the Serpent Kings it digests too much fungus goblins' gluey white secretions while tearing them apart?

Let's find out! Roll 1d6 and have fun!

1) Fungus Dog Monster
The fungus grows inside the dog's stomach and body from the inside, converting its entrails into a fungus-like spongy stuff. Once it has reached the brain, the dog is totally converted into a Fungus Dog Monster.
From now on it will feed on humidity, humus, and whatever a mushroom can feed upon, but will lose 1HP every day it stays in a dry environment.
It will remain loyal to its owner, but will fear fire (taking double damage by it) and will try to stay away even from torches and candles and naked flames in general.
Every time it is hit the dog body will release poisonous spores into the air (Save vs Poison or temporary lose 1 Constitution point).

2) Poopshroom
Every time the dog poops (once every 4-6 hours) in a humid environment, the faeces will start to grow up as Poopshrooms, smelling like fresh shit causing nausea for 1d6 turns (-2 to every d20 roll, -1 to every d6 skill roll).
If left uncontrolled, the Poopshrooms will continue to grow at a rate of 1d4 x 10 cubic feet per week.
The Poopshrooms growths can be easily destroyed by fire, but inhaling the smoke will require to Save vs Poison or be extremely sick for 2d6 days (-4 to every d20 roll, -2 to every d6 skill roll).

Pilobus fungi, they actually grow on shit

3) Poopshroom Monster
Similar to the above, but instead of a Poopshroom growth, a Poopshroom Monster will grow up from the faeces ready to colonise the immediate area. It is a mix between a shit-smelling dog-like biped creature and a mushroom. It reproduces itself by pooping around, generating other Poopshroom Monsters.
Poopshroom Monsters feed on humidity, humus and whatever a mushroom can feed upon. They have an insect-like intelligence, and are not hostile but they will defend their colony with force if necessary.
They fear and takes double damage from fire.
Poopshroom Monsters have the stats of goblins, but also have a spore cloud special attack that releases a poisonous cloud in an area of 10 cubic feet. If inhaled, the spores cause nausea for 1d6 rounds if a Save vs Poison is failed (-2 to every d20 roll, -1 to every d6 skill roll, neither cumulative in case of multiple spore cloud attacks).
They reproduce at a rate of 2d12 fully formed Poopshroom Monsters every week (1d4 every day).
4) Eyeshrooms
Dog's eyeballs fall out, replaced with clusters of light-sensitive spongy fronds. They still work perfectly well, plus now the dog can see into the ultraviolet, can smell a lot better than before (if you roll for this kind of stuff, consider a +20% bonus) and gives the dog immunity to any kind of poison or toxin.
The dog will glow in the dark of a blue-violet light and will smell like rotten mushrooms.

5) Fungal Stalk
A Fungal Stalk erupts from the dog's head, periodically getting a chance to control the dog's actions: roll 1d12 every turn, with a result of 1 it wants the dog to get eaten by something big, so its spores can get inside a larger carnivore and grow bigger and badder. The Fungal Stalk also wants to spray spores onto corpses, carcasses or into wounds to reproduce itself other than into the host's body.
If someone's wound gets sprayed by these spores, the target must Save vs Poison or get infected. A new Fungus Stalk will grow into the target's wound and will also periodically get a chance to control the host with the same probabilities as above, and with the same intentions.
If a corpse or body gets infected by the spores, it will raise as a Fungus Zombie (controlled in turn by a Fungus Stalk). It will have the same stats and immunities of a zombie, but will get double damage by fire.
Its intentions are not to be eaten (because who would eat a rotten corpse?) but to spread the spores as much as possible in a zombie-style (biting, clawing, tearing).



6) Dog Spawning Fungus
The dog's head suddenly falls off without any previous clue, leaving the dog dead on the floor.
The dog -the same dog- returns after a few days wherever the previous owner is. From then on, whenever the new dog dies, a new identical one walks a few days later into wherever the owner is.
If the owner is dead (or dies), the dog will go to his final resting place and patiently wait for him to come back. If undisturbed, the dog will eventually grow roots and will guard the place, forever alive and loyal.
If the place where the original dog's head remains are left is investigated, a fungus growth can be found growing from a dog's skull. It is from here that the new dog grows up.

Come here doggy! Oh I missed you so much!

For humanoids too!

I wrote this piece because I needed weird results for the party's dogs, but if any humanoid swallows the Fungus Goblins' white slime or eat infected fungi, feel free to use the same table on them!
Just think an alternative for result number 6... or don't, it may be fun if a party member comes back after every time he dies (especially the first time!). Just remember that when coming back it will be the exactly same copy of the one who died the first time, so no gained levels or skills.

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The results of this table are elaborations of very interesting prompts given by good fellow players at on the threads at the following links:

A side note: I saw a lot of nasty things searching for the pictures you saw here. Sometimes it would be better for my stomach to make only-text posts.

Thursday, 25 January 2018

Books are Gates for Other Worlds

I was thinking A Red & Pleasant Land* is not just a book. It is an artefact.

And then I heard a click, a shuffle of pages, and there it is: the gate to Voivodja!

The gate to Voivodja is the book itself.

After all, you can put a book wherever you want.
If you want your players to go to Voivodja, you simply put the A Red & Pleasant Land book in a hoard, a library, a crate or in a hole in the forest and when they find it you just pass them the actual book and tell them "you found this".

"You found this"

If they already know what is it, they'll be (hopefully) excited.
If they do not know what is it, they will also have pleasure of mystery and discovery.

And then they can open the first pages, read them (page 7, actually), and BAM they fall into the rabbit hole.

You can use this methods with other locations or setting inspired by literature.
The nicest is the edition of the book (leather bound, velvet ribbon, chromed title letters etc.) the better it is.

A beautiful version of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
(click to enlarge)

For example, I have an old Italian edition of "The Neverending Story" bound in red silk with an engraved Anduyn symbol and red and green letters (pictures below).
That would be really cool especially for book lovers as I am.

Look at how cool it is!
More pictures here.


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Here I'll leave you some example of places, settings or adventures accessible by finding and reading the following three famous books.
Their setting and story have been suitably twisted and weirded up to properly fit the LotFP vibe I like so much.

Tarzan of Apes, by E.R. Burroughs

A deep unexplored forest, a tribe of cannibal "ape-men" raised by alien gorilla-like creatures, mysterious ruins from an ancient past and strange sounds and growls in the night. They sound like tigers, but there are no tigers in this forest, only nightmares and death and disease. But also gold, and powerful magic.
Local explorers venturing in the forest will not accept women in the group, for they saw what happens to them if they are ever captured by the so called "ape-men". The only thing they'll say is that they are not eaten like their male companions are.


Peter Pan and Wendy, by J.M. Barrie

A child-lich called Pan who rules an army of soul-less mutated children on a secret island who's trying to resuscitate his ancient love. A group of half-mutated children who formed a rebellion against Pan and call themselves "Pirates". A tribe of natives who fear both Pan for his powers (and secretly hate him) and the Pirates for their mutations.


Cinderella, the ancient Egyptian version

In the land of Egypt, the ancient mummy of Memphis the Conqueror lies in his neverending slumber. His dreams are of a rich and ancient land, of bloody wars against the Serpent-kings and the Dog-brothers, and of beautiful and evil cinder-women. He dreams of one of these creatures, with whom he fell in love, and of the war he's doing against the Ruler of the Sands who kidnapped her to make her his wife. Whoever reads the pages of these ancient scrolls ends trapped in Memphis' dreams... but are these dreams real?

Anck-Su-Namun, The Mummy (1999)

In what other settings would your favourite books lead to?
Let me know!


* A Red and Pleasant Land is a supplement by Lamentations of the Flame Princess detailing Voivodja: a setting that mixes Alice Adventure's in Wonderland and a war between vampire clans. Higly recommended!


Monday, 25 December 2017

Evil Christmas Tree for Risus and OSR games

An Evil Christmas Tree is... a Christmas Tree with Christmas ornaments and evil purposes.Remember those beautiful trees you go and  cut to wrap them on lights and glitters and ornaments for the merriest holiday?
Well, those trees are not very merry about it.

As they have been cut from the roots they grew from, now they want to crush you and all your merry feelings to avenge their suffering (and for all those horrible decorations you put on them).
They will not stop unless defeated, or until they have crushed you to pulp.

To follow their vengeful agenda they will stalk you by means of their newly grown roots and try to kill you by stabbing you with their glittery pointy topper you liked so much. If stabbing is not possible, or if surrounded by a merry family of tree-killer humans, Evil Christmas Trees have other means to avenge themselves.
By overloading their coloured lights they can temporarily blind their torturers, and when defenceless they will explode their Christmas ornaments hurling shrapnel in the area to wound and scar their flesh and dreams.

Needles, by MattDixon

OSR games stats

AC 16 (as chain), HD 6, HP 33, MV 40', ML 12 (7 if facing fire)
Every round an Evil Christmas Tree will attack with one of the following attacks:
  • Pointy tree topper: tries to stab you for 1d8 damage.
  • Exploding Christmas ornaments: causes 1d8 damage within 10' (Save vs Breath for half damage)
  • Blinding merry lights: no damage, but a failed Save vs Magic means you are blinded for 2 rounds.
An Evil Christmas Tree suffers half damage from blunt weapons or arrows, double damage from fire.
Using axes or hatchets grants a +2 Attack Bonus.

Go home tree, you're drunk

Risus stats

Evil Christmas Tree with a Pointy Topper (6)
Exploding Christmas Ornaments (4)*
Blinding Merry Lights (4)*
- Characters will roll half dice for the following round (down to 1), but no actual die is lost.

An Evil Christmas Tree suffers little from blunt weapons or projectiles: in combat it can lose a die only if the difference between the opposing rolls is 6 or more.
When attacked with fire, though, it loses one dice more.
Using axes or hatchets grants one dice more when attacking the tree.

*Area Attack as detailed here (http://www.risusiverse.com/home/optional-rules/perks)



Warning: NSFW picture below!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
No wonder he wants to kill you, but for different reasons.
Also, stats and abilities are different.

Thursday, 21 December 2017

The Perro: a different kind of dog for OSR games

Did your player characters discovered the benefits to have dogs when adventuring?
Are they throwing those poor innocent souls into traps, into hopeless battles, or are they using them as walking emergency food supplies?
Not anymore, if they get a Perro!

This is a Perro. My Perro, actually.

Based on my actual dog, a Perro is pretty useless when it comes to adventure. He is lazy, dumb, clumsy, short-sighted, has a terrible sense of smell, loves food and cuddles and it's short from being terrified by his own shadow.
The problem is, you'll love him.
He will look at you with those oh so cute eyes that you'll not be able to abandon him, kill him for food or throw him in flames in a room full of goblins and close the door behind him.

Because a Perro's speciality is to make people pity him. When you look at his face he will make you feel sorry for his (unexistent) suffering. He will make you think his life is full of pain and sadness.
He will make people literally ask if you beat the poor Perro*.
And then he will make people give him food and cuddles. And the Perro will gladly eat and be cuddled. And then sleep.

*actually happened to me.

A Perro adventuring in the wilderness

Perro

Armor Class: 16 (as chain)
Hit Dice: 1
Movement: 240' (see description)
Morale: 2
No attacks

Every time you buy a dog, on a roll of 1 on 12 you will get a Perro.

A Perro eats double rations every day, and since he does nothing but laying and sleeping wherever he can, he will quickly get fat and chubby and he will slow down by 20' every week down to 40'.

He wants all your food

With a so low morale, a Perro will never fight: he will either run away or hide under a table, behind a rock or behind his owner.
A Perro is always wary of people other than his owner (unless they have food to offer) and will flee other dogs unless he gets to know them very well. He completely ignores cats or other similar animals.
He will, however, bark at other unknown creatures (especially dog-like) or noises if at safe distance. It will be a single, acute "Bau!" that will immediately call for a random encounter roll (or will spoil the surprise element).

Heights and holes are a Perro's bane: he fears the first and will fall into the second.
Every time there's a height to face, a Perro will keep the most possible distance from it, refusing to continue. He is also not able to climb anything much worse than steep stairs.
In the the presence of a hole, though, the Perro will have to Save versus Paralysis or fall into it.
A Perro is also very clumsy. He will roll at -4 in every save concerning movement (like when falling into holes). He also hates to be held in someone's arms or grabbed and will try to free himself.
Poor Perro.

A Perro after 4 weeks of double rations

A Perro really loves his owner. He will be always loyal to him and will greet him in the most excitedly possible way (even by peeing himself). He loves his owner so much he will be desperate to be left bound somewhere and will start to bark incessantly to recall his owner's attention.

Retainers

A Perro is so lovely that will boost the morale of any Retainer employed by the player characters.
Also, if a Perro is present in the party when hiring, any Retainer will be more inclined to accept the offered position.
When checking morale or determining if a Retainer position is accepted, roll 3d6 and drop the lowest result. This rule does not apply when determining the initial morale of Retainers.

Cause Pity

This is a special ability that works as a passive Charm Person spell.
It will automatically work (Save vs Magic is allowed) for any humanoid who looks at the Perro (except Elves as they are creepy and cold as fuck and do not care for lesser beings) and will be used for three main purposes: to get food, to get cuddles and to be protected from any possible harm or threat.
This  special ability requires no spoken word or command as it will work with the Perro's oh so cute eyes.
Cause Pity is the reason no one is able to get rid of a Perro.
How could you be so cruel with him after all? He loves you so much!

You cannot resist the power of the Perro's oh so cute eyes.

Suggested Perro names
These were actual possible names for my dog
1Penelope
2Morrongo Cotongo
3Luke
4Chewbacca
5Infarto
6Pestilenza

Some Perros are also oh so sexy

Saturday, 9 December 2017

Bewitched Fetishes

Once, in the ancient times, in the most impervious and secret places in the frozen forests of the Western Lands, the ancestral men of Kragan dwelled.
Their warlocks, feared and respected, created fetishes imbued with magic to amaze their tribe and show its members their power. To the eyes of these ignorant natives these powers were astonishing and unbelievable. But even if we, scholars of the arcane arts, know well that those were nothing but trivial tricks in respect to our art, for those people that was the maximum expression of their rudimental power.
In fact, even with the use of their powers, they could nothing against the men from the south, arrived to ravage and pillage their land and kill their people. The fetishes, then, quickly became nothing but trophies and curiosities. Some were sold to collectors, other were used or studied. Alas, most of them were lost, or scattered through the world.
Every now and then one of these fetishes is found, usually in the strangest and most unexpected places. Between some noble’s collection of antiquities, in the hands of a bandit, in the darkest recesses of dungeons inhabited by goblins, in a sealed old crate found floating in the middle of a lake.


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Sometimes all you want is to make your players’ characters find an interesting magic item that, however, is of no great power or of immediate and predictable use. We are sick of all those rings of protection!

Enter the Bewitched Fetishes!
With this table you can quickly create little magical items with unique effects, sometimes even negative, to be used with creativity and cleverness.

For example, changing your rival’s fantastic stew taste with that of a rotting fish. With some luck, he will vomit all over the rich merchant with whom he was going to sign that contract you wanted to sign yourself!

Effects are usually limited to the Fetish user or to a certain quantity of matter (an object or material) and, to activate a Fetish power, it is necessary to perform a ritual.

To create a Bewitched Fetish roll on the following random tables:

1. Fetish (d66*)
What kind of object the Fetish is?
11Skull of a newborn
12Feather
13Leather strip
14Small roll of desiccated skin
15Scalp
16Hollow bone full of leaves
21Lizard's tail
22Bag of dust
23Glass eye
24Vial of liquid
25Vial of dust
26Woman's rib
31Desiccated cat's head
32Toad's skeleton
33Wooden stick
34Wizard's ashes
35Bone pendant
36Glass pendant
41Iron pendant
42Lock of hair
43Mummified hand
44Small desiccated heart
45Stuffed songbird
46Bottle
51Iron plate
52Wooden symbol
53Piece of polished glass
54Clay cup
55Statuette
56Coin
61Pottery fragment
62Bat's wing
63Candle
64String coil
65Ribbon
66Bowl



2. Bewitched Appearance (d66*)
How do the magic imbued in the Fetish shows itself?
11 Painted or engraved arcane symbols
12 Slight iridescence
13 Sparkles in the hot
14 Sparkles in the cold
15 Hot when touched
16 Cold when touched
21 Light electricity shocks when touched
22 Strong electricity shocks when touched
23 Has a magnetic field
24 Has a gravitational field
25 Slightly vibrates
26 Buzzes
31 Produces noise when moved
32 Makes ears ring
33 Provokes light headaches
34 Radiates candle light
35 Does not makes sounds
36 Unusually light
41 Unusually heavy
42 Shines where touched
43 Leaves a luminous trail
44 Does not has a shadow
45 Exhales smoke or steam where touched
46 Emanates an unusual bad smell
51 Emanates an unusual good scent
52 Makes you feel observed
53 Burns the surfaces it touches
54 Freezes the surfaces it touches
55 Levitates of few millimeters
56 Makes you hear unintelligible whispers
61 Calls by name who looks at it
62 Geometric lines of pulsing light
63-66 No particular sign

3. Activation Ritual (d20)
What ritual you must perform to release the Fetish powers?
1Break it or smash it
2Set it on fire
3Immerse it in water
4Swallow it
5Spill it with your own blood
6Press it in your hand
7Throw it in the air
8Pronounce a word
9Pronounce a formula
10Drop it
11Inhale it
12Spill it with salted water
13Wound yourself with it
14Hit yourself with it
15Chew it
16Stare intensely at it
17Have the intention
18Spit over it
19Touch it in certain points
20Roll again and combine the result

Items from Nepal, New Guinea, Africa, Philippines, Timor, Persia, Iran, Ethiopia, Thailand, and Bohemia.
da Becky's Gallery

4. Number of Spells (d8)
How many spells are imbued in the Fetish?
1-5One spell
6-7Two spells
8Three spells

Performing the ritual all the spells imbued in the Fetish will be always and immediately activated. All spell effects last 10 minutes.


5. Activation Distance (d6)
From what distance can you bewitch matter (an object or material)?
1-2In view
3-6Touch

5. Spells (1-3d100)
What effect is released when the ritual is performed?
1A knot is untied, no matter how tight it is
2A small object of your choice levitates
3A small quantity of water boils
4A small quantity of water evaporates
5A small quantity of water freezes
6A small quantity of water sublimates
7A small sized object becomes incandescent
8A small sized object is teleported within the user field of vision
9A small sized object liquefies
10All the user's hair fall
11An incredibly tight knot is tied
12A medium sized object levitates at few centimeters from the floor
13An object changes colour
14An object doesn't make any noise
15An object of food changes its taste
16An object of small or medium size becomes slimy and slippery as a soap bar
17An object of small or medium size becomes sticky like glue
18An object of small or medium size becomes very heavy
19An object of small or medium size becomes very light
20An object or food changes its smell
21A small or medium sized object becomes invisible to whoever is beyond 1d4 meters from it
22A small sized object becomes icy cold
23One of the user's five senses is extremely sharpened
24The user appears to the sight as a humanoid mist
25The user call an object of his choice towards him
26The user attracts objects made of a material of his choice
27The user becomes blind
28The user becomes mute
29The user can calm a small or medium sized animal
30The user can carry a single object of medium size as if it had no weight
31The user can cause a creature to become sleepy
32The user can change his body odour at his choice
33The user can change his hair length, quantity and colour
34The user can change his voice
35The user can change the color of a part of his body (hair, eyes, skin etc.)
36The user can create a rubbery fist-sized sphere of light
37The user can find the exact location of the nearest secret passage
38The user can hear noises at great distances
39The user can jump up to 3 meters of height
40The user can levitate for no more than 1d4 meters of height. If he lands, the effect is dispelled
41The user can peacefully call to himself an animal of medium size
42The user can peacefully call to himself an animal of small size
43The user can perceive the vital signs of those around him
44The user can see any recent trace or mark, even if invisible to the eye
45The user can see in the dark
46The user can see through clothes
47The user can shoot webs from his wrists
48The user can taste flavours at a distance
49The user can understand when he's being lied
50The user cannot taste any taste
51The user casts a Spell (randomly determined at the Fetish creation)
52The user causes light shocks when touching something
53The user dies, but resuscitates after 10 minutes with no harm whatsoever
54The user becomes as little as a cat
55The user does not cast a shadow
56The user does not feel any harm
57The user does not feel tired
58The user does not make noises of any kind
59The user does not need to breath
60The user does not need to sleep for 1d6 days
61The user feels a sharp and constant general pain
62The user generates a gravitational field
63The user generates a magnetic field
64The user generates a shockwave that hurls away any object or creature in 1d6 meters without causing any direct harm
65The user generates noises when moving
66The user gets drunk
67The user gets thermal vision
68The user is no longer drunk, or hangover symptoms are erased
69The user is paralised
70The user is sated and quenched for 1d6 days and does not need to eat or drink
71The user knows the exact length of something
72The user leaves a light trail when moving
73The user materialises the image of an medium sized object of his choice in front of himself. The object has no weight or consistency, but it can be manipulated as if it was real
74The user passes out
75The user repels a creature of a species or race of his choice
76The user repels any creature, be it human or not
77The user repels any insect
78The user repels objects made of a material of his choice
79The user sees in black and white
80The user starts convulsing
81The user starts to sneeze without interruption
82The user starts yawning without being able to stop
83The user transforms to a random anthropomorphous creature of the same sex and size
84The user transforms to an anthropomorphous creature of his choice of the same sex and size
85The user's body becomes sticky as glue
86The user's body becomes slimy as a toad
87The user's body burns the surfaces it touches
88The user's body can bend and squeeze itself freely
89The user's body froze the surfaces it touches
90The user's body gets covered by bark
91The user's body gets covered by feathers
92The user's body gets covered by hair
93The user's body gets covered by scales as a snake or a fish
94The user's body glows where touched
95The user's body is surrounded by a light mist
96The user's body starts to glow like a candle
97The user's dominant hand gets swapped
98The user's nails become indestructible claws
99The user's voice has an echo
100The user's hair grow down to his knees


* d66: roll two six-sided dice: the first die is the tens from 10 to 60, the second is the units from 1 to 6


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The initial idea was give to me after the Numenera Cyphers. I found them very interesting given their particularity of having strange and not immediately useful powers. I thought it would be fun to do something similar for a fantasy setting.
Hope you like them!